Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

vampire fangs

i have a party to go to tonight, and i picked up some vampire fangs that attach to the teeth with this kind of putty.

i look awesomely vampiric with my tousled hair and hip, urban bohemian attire.

however, i am deeply concerned that this putty flavor in my mouth will not match the big bottle of Valpolicella i have purchased for the occasion.

vampires, after all, must drink red wine at parties.

still, the teeth seem to be staying in place, and they seem not to be too much in the way, and the box assures me I can take them out to eat and pop them right back in.

remember when halloween technology was merely wax lips and latex masks?

i was browsing the aisles of the walgreens and noticing all kinds of awesome things i couldn't afford.

(and, alas, the very moment i type up these words, the fangs fall out! they didn't last one hour. halloween tech may have evolved in many ways but in this it has remained the same: cheap plastic items never last the night!

i shall go merely as a bohemian author. which is a very simple costume for me, indeed.)

6 comments:

Janet said...

You put them on before the party? What were you thinking?

I know. You wanted to play with your cool new toy.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

So how did the putty taste with the wine? Was it like drinking crystal light after brushing your teeth? (If you've never done this, don't! It's horrible.)

Sandy
http://brimfire.livejournal.com

J m mcdermott said...

The fangs and I didn't work out. I need things that last longer than an hour. I got things that lasted maybe half an hour if I really tried after their first failed installation.

I ended up just going as a vampire in disguise as a mortal human. My fangs were at the ready (*cough* in my pocket *cough*) in case I needed to drink blood.

All I needed to drink was Valpolicella which is a rich, tart red wine that's most excellent with pizza. Pizza and doom.

Anonymous said...

I've tried to use Denture fixture on my fangs. it's like glue that isn't toxic. it feels and tastes disgusting if you put too much on though. but my kanines are too small to use just the putty itself.

J m mcdermott said...

Can you do me a favor and sign your posts if you're posting anonymously?

That way I know if I'm still talking to the same person, or to someone new.

I'll check the denture stuff out next year, if I go as a vampire again.

'Twas a spur of the moment costume, for a spur of the moment party. Since my clothes are weird, anyway, I only needed to buy the teeth.